Small talk

Lore & Background

Phatic communication, or small talk, is not used to exchange important information; instead it is used to build and maintain interpersonal relationships. The ability to conduct small talk is a social skill. Small talk serves many functions in helping to define the relationships between friends, colleagues, and new acquaintances. It helps new acquaintances to explore and categorize each other's social position. Small talk is closely related to the need for people to maintain a positive face and feel approved of by those who are listening to them. It lubricates social interactions in a very flexible way, but the desired function is often dependent on the point in the conversation at which the small talk occurs. There are differences in small talk between genders. Women use compliments as a form of friendly phatic communion, while men use joking as a way of connecting through small talk. There are differences and similarities between cultural small talk. While some cultures use small talk similarly to English culture, others use it differently.

Reader's Guide

Small talk is a bonding ritual and a strategy for managing interpersonal distance. It can be used as a conversation opener, allowing speakers to show friendly intentions and establish reputation. It may take place at the end of a conversation to mitigate rejection and affirm the relationship. Small talk can fill space to avoid silence, as humans generally find prolonged silence uncomfortable. The need to use small talk depends upon the nature of the relationship; couples in an intimate relationship can signal closeness by a lack of small talk. In workplace situations, small talk tends to occur mostly between workers on the same level, but managers may use it to develop working relationships. The balance between functional conversation and small talk depends on context and the relative power of the speakers. Topics are generally less important than their social function, and are chosen based on shared background knowledge. Direct topics include personal observations such as health or looks; indirect topics refer to situational context. Safe topics include weather, sports, and television. Conversational patterns involve predictable moves, such as an opening line phrased for easy agreement, followed by a more substantial response to maximize politeness. Gender differences show women using compliments and collaborative speech, while men use joking and talk about work or shared interests. Cultural differences vary widely; for example, Chinese culture uses a wider range of small talk topics, while Finland and Sweden have little culture of small talk.

Did You Know?

• Women use compliments as a form of friendly phatic communion, while men use joking as a way of connecting through small talk.
• In many cultures, silence between two people is usually considered uncomfortable and/or awkward.
• Finland and Sweden have been cited as countries where there is little culture of small talk and people are more comfortable with silence.